GOALS TO SET
that are more
ABOUT ENJOYING
what you have
THAN CHASING what you don’t.
― Brianna Wiest
As I grow older, it creates the uneasiness and discomfort that comes with adulthood;
“It’s a new year.”
“How far would i want to go? Everyone else has their life together, do I?” (At least in the way I want to.)
Milestones are markers that you’re evolving — they do not create emotional fulfillment in the way we think they will. This confusion is why with the dawn of each new year, our resolutions are to change our lives rather than to change ourselves. But;
What if we made goals that were more about loving what we have rather than chasing what we don’t? What if we realized that it’s what we were seeking in the first place?
It’s something to consider — if not even try just a little.
HERE ARE A FEW IDEAS TO GET YOU STARTED:
01. Pick up where you left off. Finish the half-read books on your shelf. Eat
what’s in the cupboard. Wear what you own in ways you never thought
of before. Apologize and mean it. Call old friends. Revisit old projects.
Try other routes.
02. Seek out ways to appreciate the way people are, not the way you want
them to be. It is not your job to judge who is deserving of your love and
kindness. It is not your job to fix anybody. It is only your job to love
them in whatever way is appropriate. You are not anybody else’s god.
03. Make time for the friends you have more than you seek out the ones you
don’t. Stop counting how many people are in your life as though hitting
a certain tally will make you feel loved. Start appreciating how rare and
beautiful it is to even just have one close friend in life. Not everybody is
so lucky.
04. Each day, write down one thing your body allowed you to do. Whether it
was watching your favorite show or listening to the sounds on the street
on the way to work or being able to see a computer screen or hug
someone you love, focus on what your body does more than what it
looks like doing it.
05. Learn to love things that don’t cost much. Learn to love simple food and
cooking it, being outside, the company of a friend, going for walks,
watching the sunrise, a full night’s sleep, a good day’s work.
06. Start a “journal of days” where you write down a sentence or two to sum
up each day of your year. The reason keeping up with a journal is only
sustainable for a week or so is that nobody has the time (or energy) to
thoughtfully or extensively detail their everyday lives. Yet we miss out
on the incredible opportunity to see how far we’ve come and what our
lives are ultimately comprised of when we fail to — so make it easy for
yourself. Just write down one sentence that sums up the day before bed.
In a year, you’ll be grateful you did.
07. Find meaning and joy in the work you do, not the work you wish you
did. Finding fulfillment in work is never about pursuing your idea of
what your “purpose” is. It is always about infusing purpose into
whatever it is you already do.
08. Start your own holiday traditions. Make the most special days of the year reflect who you are and what you love and how you want to celebrate
your life.
09. Do a “spend cleanse” where you only use what you have for a period of
time. At once, teach yourself the art of denying immediate gratification
for the sake of something more important, and show yourself that you
already have everything you need, or at least, more than you think you
do (even when it doesn’t feel like it).
10. Give everything you own a “home”; it is essentially the key to feeling at
peace in your space. Go through your belongings and only keep what’s
purposeful or beautiful to you — and then assign each of those things a
“home,” or a space to return to each night. It makes maintaining flow in
your space effortless and calming.
11. Learn to live within your means — no matter how much money you
make, your “percentage habits” will remain the same. If you’re in the
habit of seeing all of the income you make as “spending money” (as
opposed to investing money, saving money, etc.) you will always revert
to that habit, no matter how much you make. It is only by learning to live
comfortably within your means that you’re able to actually achieve your
goals when you earn more.
12. Call your parents. Not everybody has the privilege. (This is like a top tier priority for me this year>>>>>)
13. Aspire to be someone who gives things meaning, not who seeks things to give them meaning. Rather than chasing “success,” chase kindness.
Rather than believe wealth is the mark of a life well lived, believe that
intelligence is, or kindness is, or open-mindedness is.
14. Do the most important things immediately in the morning. Give your
energy to what matters most, when you have the most of it. It also helps
you define what really matters to you.
15. Shed what no longer serves you. Teach yourself to let go of the big
things by learning to let go of the little ones. It is easier to bypass
thoughts and emotions that are negative in nature when you’re able to
release belongings and objects with negative associations.
16. Pace yourself — if at any point you’re doing anything in which you
cannot feel your breath, you’re moving too fast. Make physical
relaxation a priority — no matter what you’re doing. Keep track of your
breath at all times. Be mindful, present and intentional with everything
you do. It is not the quantity of what we accomplish, but the quality of it.
In 2023, I hope you become the hero of your own story every time life tries to knock you down. I hope you have learned that you are strong and resilient to face the toughest challenges alone. I hope you have learned that you’re soft and kind but you’re not a fool for anyone. I hope you have learned that you’re perfectly fine with being on your own if you’re not valued or respected or appreciated.
I hope this is the year you begin and end the story on a happy note; a note that includes you overcoming challenges, finding your passion, finding yourself, getting closer to your dreams but most of all, I hope you surprise yourself by going further than you ever imagined and by being everything you once thought you’d never be. I hope this is the year for you. I hope this is the year you shine brighter than any other year.
ROBERTA.
